December 2003/January 2004

Volume 44, Number 3

October chapter meeting: So, you have written your suicide letter; what's next? Or Living Outside the Box, by Mary Jo Fay

by Joel Meier

Before you duct tape garden hose to the tail pipe, at least tolerate a little eyestrain and hear me out. Mary Jo Fay had written her suicide letter and instead of taking the next step, she chose the opposite, and ran away from home. I, for one, am thankful that she did.

At one time or another I am sure that you have been asked to think outside the box. So, you brainstorm right there in the meeting, or you go back to your desk and come up with some inspirations that are out of the norm, innovative, and bold! Next, you present your ideas and what happens? Management decides to stay with the tried and true, regardless if it is working or not. At least that has been my experience. I can never get any buy-in to get out of these workplace boxes that cover me.

So, what is a box? A box, as defined by Fay, is a "behavioral pattern that holds its captive hostage, limiting the view of life's possibilities, excitements, and passions" (Fay, 2003). OK. Sounds familiar. On the surface this box thing seems no different than the one you just talked about that exists at work. But it is. One person is stuck in this box, and one person is the only one that can get you out of it. YOU! What are your boxes? Do these look familiar?

• Workaholism: Do I work late, on weekends, and lose vacation every year?
• Perfectionism: Am I the only one unhappy with my deliverable?
• Fear: Do I keep doing things the way we've always done them because fear holds me back from taking risks and trying new things?
• My past: Do I let the scars and painful memories of the past create issues in my present?
• Expectations of others: Do I keep doing everything for everybody else and forget to take care of myself?

What incredible possibilities await you that you are not realizing? Isn't life supposed to be fun? Do you long to discover how to be positive and passionate again?

If you missed Fay's presentation, I suggest that you buy her book Get Out Of Your Boxx! She dropped a copy off at the check-in desk before the meeting, and I still have it! (Yes, she made me pay for it. I tried to argue that it was used but my best arguments did not avail.) By the time the meeting started, I had read to Chapter 3, What Boxx? After the meeting I jumped to Chapter 16, Narcissism—Boxxed In By The "Master Of the Universe." It is an insightful piece of work. And of course, there is Chapter 11, but you will have to buy the book. I am not going to tell you about that one.

Work Cited
Fay, Mary Jo. Get Out Of Your Boxx! Out of the Boxx, Inc. Parker, Colorado, 2003.